


Stop Me

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, The Milk Fic - Freeform, actually help, also another really bad "the blank fic" but i'm not telling you, delete me, i have actual storys written but i'm too fucking lazy to publish them, i'm not okay, im sorry, is this even funny, it will spoil it, really - Freeform, this idea was formed at 5 am, this is what i think about when i can't sleep, what is life, you will laugh and cringe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6571603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard walks in on Ryden. What happens next?</p><p> </p><p>I'm really fucking sorry</p><p> </p><p>I'm actually not okay someone send help</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cry for help
> 
>  
> 
> I'm so sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> Also thank you to whoever submitted this to badmcrfics i love life

What the fuck? Gerard thought as he walked into class, and saw the teacher, Mr. Urie, who had Mr. Ross bent over the desk and was pouring  _milk into his ass._  "Oh!" Mr. Urie exclaimed. "You're early, Gerard." He said nonchalantly. Like he wasn't just actually pouring actual milk into the band teacher's actual ass.

"Uh, should I fucking leave?" Gerard said, scarred for fucking life. "No, we actually just finished." He then pointed to the container that had held the milk that was now inside an asshole. Gerard wanted to fucking die. "Ryan, let's go to the bathroom to take care of you." Mr. Urie said, really fucking sweetly, Gerard would have thought, if he didn't see what had been happening right as he walked into class. 

"We'll be right back Gerard, take a seat and wait for everybody. They should be here soon."

Mr. Urie then got up with Mr. Ross, who Gerard will never fucking look at the same, and walked out slowly. You know, because he had  **MILK IN HIS ASS**. Gerard wanted to scream, or, hell, he didn't fucking know. He just desperately wanted not to see what he just saw.

After a few minutes Gerard's hot as fuck boyfriend walked into class looking hot as fuck. "Frank, oh, thank God you're here. You will actually never believe what I just saw." "What?" Frank said intrigued. Gerard told him everything he saw walking into class this morning. Frank looked thoughtful, and seemed as if he was about to say something, but was cut off by Mr. Urie walking into class, looking like nothing ever happened. Gerard wished he could say he was shocked, but he wasn't. 

After the class, Frank and Gerard were walking down the hall, minding their own business, when Frank started talking. "So, um, I was thinking about Mr. Urie and Mr. Ross, about what you saw them doing." 

"And you think it's really fucked up?" Gerard said, and would have started laughing if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. His own eyes that he now wanted to bleach.

"Uh, no, actually," 

Gerard didn't like where this was going.

"I was thinking that maybe, maybe we should try it."

No. No. No way in fucking  _hell_ was Gerard  _ever_ putting milk in his ass. Fuck no. Out of the question. "Hear me out, it might not be so bad." Said Frank. "No, no, no, and um, fuck no." Gerard replied

"C'mon, Gee." 

Gerard just gave him a look that said: "Absolutely fucking not". But being the persistent little fuck he was, he kept trying. "It doesn't have to be milk, ya know." He said, "We could use coffee instead" "Oh, like that makes such a huge fucking difference." 

There was no way Gerard was doing this. None. "But you love coffee," Frank kept at it. "Why the fuck would I want boiling hot coffee up my ass, Frank?" Gerard said, losing patience.

"Please, Gee. I really want this." Begged Frank, who was pouting now. God, Gerard couldn't take much more of this. "What's in it for me?" Asked Gerard. If he was going to do this, he was getting something out of the deal.

"Anything you want." Frank said in a lower voice than usual, coming right in front of Gerard, running his hand up his chest. Gerard shuddered. Was it worth it? Putting coffee, his most beloved beverage, in his ass? 

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease!" Frank said in a rush. Gerard really didn't want to do this.

"Ugh! Fine, I guess."

 

 

And that's how Gerard ended up kneeling in the bathtub, a towel under his knees and another one under his hands, while Frank poured hot coffee up his ass.

 It was just as bad as Gerard had thought it would be, but hey, at least Gerard got something out of the deal.

 

He and Frank finally got a hamster.

 

 

 

 

And you know what?

 

 

 

 

And every month, they buy a hamster.

**Author's Note:**

> #Stopme2016


End file.
